If you find yourself in an intercultural relationship and you are living in your partner’s home country it is going to be very natural to lean on them to help you navigate life and logistics, especially if you do not speak the local language. This is a trap that most intercultural relationships fall into. It is of course ok to ask your partner for help when you are overwhelmed or don’t understand something. At the same time, if there comes a point when it can become a burden to your partner if they are having to help you every time you need to go to the doctor or the government office or even to buy groceries. They have their own work on their plate and probably don’t want to be at your personal secretary. It is essential for you to build your independence and self-sufficiency in your new home.
This is possibly going to be very scary for you. It may mean that you will make some mistakes. You may buy the wrong thing at the grocery store. You may have to go back a few times to the post office before you get the system down. It will be important for you to find some local friends who you can call to help you get something done or translate for you so that you are not always relying on your partner. You may have to sometimes use an interpreter service or find service providers such as tax advisors or accountants that speak your language to help you. Don’t go the other extreme and never ask for help. If you are really stuck, please go to your partner, just realize that the more you can do on your own, the better your relationship will be.
