Raising your child to be bilingual is one of the greatest gifts that you can give them. Not only does it give them more opportunities when they grow older, it also makes it much easier to learn a third language and allows them to practice thinking in an entirely different way. There are two main ways that families choose to do this. Either you have each parent speak in their native tongue or you decide to divide language based on inside the home/outside the home for instance you speak English in the home and then immerse the child in the language of the country you live in. They go to a school in that country’s language, they do extra-curricular activities in the country’s language etc. Both of these methods will work. We chose the first option for our family where my wife speaks in her language and I speak to our children in my native tongue and it is amazing to see how our kids can effortlessly switch back and forth.
If you are the foreign parent and your partner is a local, it is extremely important that you take extra time to teach your child your native language. I have encountered many clients who do not do this and end up feeling distant from their own children, not being able to speak with them. Being able to communicate is essential for your relationship with your child and it will only get worse the longer you wait. It is one of those situations where you get out what you put in. You have to put in the time for them to be able to pick up the language. It is going to be much easier for them to pick up the local language so you will be fighting an uphill battle but stick with it. It is also easy to get frustrated with your child if they don’t want to learn your language because it is easier to speak the local language. Try your best to be patient. If you are angry and frustrated, you will be caught in a vicious cycle where they won’t want to learn your language because it is not enjoyable and they will associate it with your frustration and unpleasant memories. If this describes your situation, please start today to find fun ways to interact with your son or daughter in your own language. Ask your partner to facilitate this. They may have to be out of the house to take away the temptation for your child to speak to them. It is critical that you start this right away to save the relationship.
